A Song for Us

Chapter Twenty-Nine

ERIC

I LAY IN MY bed recounting the night. It made me ill to think of anyone ever hurting Sarah, and I knew in time Derek would break her heart again. She was already so fragile there was no telling what it would do to her. When I saw him below the stage, I knew things were only going to get worse for her.

The phone rang next to my bed and I ignored it, but whoever it was called back immediately. I reluctantly pulled myself from my thoughts and picked up the receiver.

“Hey,” Sarah said with a loud sigh.

“You okay?”

She laughed and I could picture her shaking her head. “I’m fine. You don’t always need to ask me that.”

“I just don’t want you to be upset.”

“I’m going to Texas, E,” she blurted out. I ran my hand over my jaw as I let that sink in once again.

“When?”

“Day after tomorrow. It’s for the best.”

“For who?” I couldn’t hide my anger.

“We’ve already been through this.”

“But things have changed.”

“Nothing’s changed, E. I shouldn’t have told him I wouldn’t go.”

“Is he there?”

“No. He probably won’t be for a while. I think he was partying.”

I hung up and made my way to her room. I was only wearing my jeans and I didn’t bother to put on a shirt. I needed to say a proper good-bye. Once Derek was back, I knew he wouldn’t let me have a moment alone with her and he was right not to.

I knocked on her door, running my hand over my hair as I waited for her to answer. She pulled the door open slowly, her sad eyes meeting mine.

“You can’t leave.”

“E,” she sighed, and shook her head slowly, her hair falling around her face.

I stepped around her, slamming the door behind me and then pacing the floor of her room. “He is no good for you, Sarah.”

She followed me toward the bed, sitting down on the edge as I continued to walk the length of the room.

“I can’t just sit back and watch him hurt you anymore.”

“This hurts, E.”

I stopped and turned to look at her, saw the pain in her eyes. “Do you have any idea how much you mean to me?” I was trying to keep calm, but it was virtually impossible. She hung her head as her nails dug into her knees leaving tiny, red half-moon indents.

“You can’t do this. Don’t do to Donna what he’s done to me.”

I leaned down over Sarah, my hands on either side of her, pressing into the mattress. “I am nothing like him.”

“I know that.” Her voice was small. “I won’t be like him either. I’m taken, E. As long as he is faithful to me, I won’t go behind his back.”

“Faithful? You think just because I haven’t fucked you that you haven’t already cheated on Derek?”

Her hand cracked across my face and her nostrils flared in anger as she narrowed her eyes.

I stood up, running my hand over my cheek. “I shouldn’t have said that . . .”

She held up her hand to stop me from talking as she pushed from the bed. She walked around me and opened the door to the room, her head hung as she waited for me to leave.

“I will miss you . . . so much,” she said quietly.

I nodded, walking toward her, stopping just inches from her. She refused to look me in the eye. “I won’t try again, Sarah. If I walk out now, I’m done.”

A small sob ripped from her chest but she nodded slowly. It was physically painful to walk out of Sarah’s life, but I knew from the beginning this was the way it would end.

I made my way back to my room and picked up Sarah’s guitar, which still sat propped against the wall. I began to strum the notes to our song. It was fitting that we never finished it together, just as we would never finish what had begun between us. Every word I sang to her I meant.

As I continued to play, I thought of all the ways my life had gone wrong. Every path I chose when I knew it would only hurt me, every person I tried to love when I knew I would never get it in return. I played for hours until my fingertips were numb and I knew what I needed to do.

There was a woman who wanted my company, who desperately craved someone to love her, and maybe I could be that man for her.

Donna was amazing. She was kind and funny and didn’t look at me as if I were a mistake. I could be whom she wanted and I knew it would never be thrown back in my face.

It didn’t take long for me to make my way to her room. She had been sleeping and pushed her hair back from her face. Even when woken in the middle of the night, she was absolutely stunning.

I had a hand braced on either side of the doorframe. She smiled when she saw me and I couldn’t help but smile back at her. I reached out, running my hand over the soft angles of her jaw. She stepped forward and pressed her lips against mine. I groaned as my hand slid back into her hair, and I ran my tongue over her lower lip. Her body pressed into mine and I moaned at the physical contact I craved. I needed to feel wanted just as much as she did, and we moved against each other with an incredible hunger.

I needed to move on and make myself forget, and Donna needed the same from me. I saw it now. She wasn’t asking anything from me that I couldn’t give her. She just didn’t want to be alone. Together we could help heal old wounds and learn to move forward. I stepped forward and pushed the door closed behind me. I slipped her nightgown off her shoulders and reluctantly pulled my mouth from hers as I tugged it down over her breasts and it pooled at her feet. She was incredibly beautiful and I was a fool for not seeing it sooner. My hand slid roughly over her breast as I walked us toward her bed, not able to wait any longer to mask the ache in my chest.