A Song for Us

Chapter Forty

SARAH

YOU SEEM TO be in better spirits.”

I glanced up at Cass, who sat cross-legged on the end of my bed. “I saw my sister for the first time since I had left home.”

“How did you feel about seeing her after all of these years?”

“Terrified.”

“And now?”

“Relieved. Thank you for finding her.”

“Change isn’t always a bad thing, you know.”

“It usually is for me.”

“What you are going to do when you leave here?”

“I don’t know what I am going to do. I’m pretty sure I no longer have a band.” I laughed sadly as I thought about Derek. “I’m sure everyone thinks I am crazy.” I heard E’s voice in my mind telling me I was killing him. I wanted to tell him then what he meant to me, but it was too late. Every person I got close to ran from me eventually.

“You are hardly the crazy one in our messed-up family.”

I pictured Cass and Tucker looking at each other with love in their eyes. They had been through so much together and now their lives were perfect. I wondered if it would ever be possible to get past everything and one day be happy like them.

“My boyfriend ran off to Texas and left me here, and E . . .” I hated how my heart ached as I thought of him.

“Do you miss him?” Cass pulled her lip between her teeth.

“So much . . . and now he is sitting in jail because of me.”

“I was talking about Derek.”

I could feel my cheeks flush and I looked down at the pillow on my lap, picking a loose thread with my nails. “I knew he was no good for me, but he was always there and he never asked questions.”

“It’s always way easier to deny anything had happened than face it.” Cass paused and glanced down at her hands. “I can relate to that.”

“Something like that, I guess.” I nodded, knowing she understood better than anyone else.

“But the problems didn’t go away that way, did they?”

“I’m here aren’t I?” I joked, trying to hide behind my humor.

“But you told E. You could have talked to me.”

“He cared.”

“We all care about you, Sarah. I know we have been crazy busy with touring and getting married, but I would have been there for you.”

“E deserves so much better than me.”

“And you deserved to be cheated on, humiliated . . . cast aside?”

I didn’t say anything as I shifted on the bed. I didn’t want to talk about E anymore.

“In here it is easy to avoid what is bothering you, but tomorrow you are going to be out there again and you can’t run forever. Trust me. I tried that once.”

THE DOCTOR LOOKED over the cuts on my arms. I was slowly starting to heal, both inside and out. As scared as I was to leave this place, I was going stir-crazy after four days of this. I wanted to see Jenny again and find out everything about her life since I had left.

“You’re all set. Take care of yourself.” He patted me on the shoulder as I slid off the chair and walked back to my room.

As I changed into my street clothes, the nurse popped her head into my room with a bright smile on her face. “Your sister is here for you. I have her waiting down the hall at the front desk.”

“Thank you.” I smiled. I glanced around the sterile space and took a deep breath before heading out into the hallway. Jenny’s eyes met mine and she ran down the hall toward me, pulling me in for a hug.

“I missed you,” she said, and I pulled back as I tucked my hair behind my ear. It was overwhelming. She looped her arm in mine and began walking with me down the hall to the double doors. “Come on. I have someone waiting for you.” I stopped walking, unsure if I could handle seeing my mom yet. I had run off, no explanation, and she had no idea if I was even alive for all of this time. “It’s going to be fine. I promise you. I’m with you now.”

I slowly began to walk again. The nurse who stood by the doors slid his card so they would open, and we made our way to the elevator. The doors opened and a nurse stepped out as we slid in and pressed the button for the first floor.