A Song for Us

Chapter Twenty-Six

SARAH

AS THE SUN began to sink, the bands got better. The only thing missing was E, who had disappeared about an hour ago. I tried to focus on the lyrics as the singer belted her heart out onstage, but I couldn’t get E out of my mind.

A friend could worry about a friend. That’s what I told myself as I scanned the crowd for him. Derek’s arms tightened around my waist as he danced behind me, but I just swayed my hips slightly, not feeling up to dancing.

The idea of leaving California after our vacation and heading straight to Texas freaked me out. Derek grew up with his grandmother and his older brother, who was off in Texas working as a lawyer. How much trouble could one little old lady be? But I still couldn’t settle my stomach at the thought of meeting anyone’s family. I knew what kind of secrets can be hidden behind locked doors.

“You all right?” Cass asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

“Yeah.” I shrugged.

“I’m going to grab Tuck a drink. You want to come?”

“Sure,” I replied with a little too much enthusiasm. Derek released his hold on me and Cass and I wove our way through the crowd to the tents set up in the back.

“You doing okay? You looked a little out of it back there.”

“I’m nervous about meeting Derek’s family.” I shrugged.

“Yeah, I get that. Meeting Dorris was a real . . . fun experience.” Cass laughed.

“You’re not helping.” I laughed and a hand landed on my hip.

“Maybe I can help,” E whispered into my ear, and Cass grinned as my face flushed.

“I’m gonna grab the drinks.” Cass turned and made her way to the tent, leaving me alone with E. I turned around to face him.

He smiled as he ran the pad of his thumb over my cheek. “I went off for a drink and you moved on with your life.” He put his hand over his heart dramatically and swayed slightly.

“How many of those drinks have you had? You’ve been gone a long time.”

“Long enough for you to make plans to meet Derek’s family?” E cocked his head, and even though his tone was playful, I knew his mood was anything but.

“We’re friends, E.” It hurt to look him in the eye and lie about what I was feeling in my heart.

“Yeah?” He reached out and took my hand, his fingertips rubbing over my knuckles. “You don’t feel that?” He leaned in closer and his lips brushed against my earlobe. I shivered at the touch. “You don’t feel this, Sarah?”

I closed my eyes as I forced my body not to melt against his and shook my head. It was painful and he pulled back, nodding.

“I must have imagined it then. I apologize.” The muscles in his jaw jumped under the skin as his eyes searched mine for the truth, and of course he could see it. E could always see right through me like no one else.

“E . . .” I wanted to say so many things, but the words didn’t seem as if they would do the situation justice. I had fucked up beyond belief, and making it right would mean hurting the one person who seemed to get me, but E was a wild card. Derek had promised commitment and I needed that. I craved it.

“It’s fine, Sarah. I just want you to be happy. That’s all I ever wanted.”

“I know that.”

He pulled me in for a hug, and as much as I wanted to resist, my body wouldn’t let me. My hands slid over the tight muscles of his back as his hands trailed up and down my spine. He pressed his lips against my throat and I sighed.

His body stiffened momentarily. “You can’t make little noises like that when I have you in my arms.” He groaned as he held me tighter. I tried to pull back but he wasn’t letting me budge.

“E, I’m sorry.”

“Shh . . . don’t say you’re sorry. Sorry means you regret it and I know you don’t.”

“I will never regret you, E. You are my best friend and there are no words for how much I care about you.”

“There’s a word for how I feel about you.” He pulled back to look me in the eye and my heart crumbled.

“I think we should probably head back.” This time when I pulled away, he let his hands fall to his sides. The look on his face destroyed me. I could feel my world spiraling but I had no choice but to hold on and hope for the best. Derek had changed, and for me to hurt him now the way he had hurt me in the past would be a horrible betrayal. I couldn’t help the way I was feeling, but I could stop myself from acting on those feelings.

“Are you ready?” Cass asked as her eyes darted between us.

I nodded as I sniffled, hating myself. Cass looked to E, who was still staring at me, his eyes burning through me.

“Yeah. We’re done.” He turned and walked into the crowd. Cass gave me a sympathetic look before we followed behind him.

I took a drink from her hand and took a big gulp, hoping it would settle my nerves. I knew the rest of the night was going to be excruciating.