Incinerate

Chapter 28

Knox

IT’S BEEN over a month since that day at my parents’, and Mom and I have been talking several times a week. Things have been good, and I have to admit that it’s been nice having someone to talk to about Charlie who isn’t one of the guys. We don’t get too personal, not yet, but our relationship is slowly mending. I’m grateful for this second chance.

At the same time, Charlie’s had my back, supporting me and letting me talk it out whenever I’m feeling weird about how fast everything seems to happening with my family. I don’t think I could’ve done this without her, so I’m grateful she was there to give me a push in the right direction.

I didn’t have time to meet with my dad until today, and when I reluctantly said goodbye to Charlie this morning, she gave me a sweet kiss, reminding me that everything we’ve both been through has led us here and that I need to hear him out—which is exactly what I did. Hashing things out with him was easier than with Mom. We didn’t have all the emotional stuff. We agreed to let the past be the past, and I’m completely okay with that. He filled me in on how his consulting firm is doing, while I relived the years spent in the Army for him. It was good, a step in the right direction.

As I’m waiting for the elevator after having left Dad’s office, the conversation between my father and me replays in my head. It feels a little better knowing that he didn’t specifically know what Branson had done, and after talking it out, I think we’re going to be okay. Like I told my mom, it’s not going to be perfect overnight, but I think we can be a family again.

To be honest, I haven’t given it much thought over the last eleven years. Now that I’ve seen them, I realize how much I did miss having a relationship with my parents. Even though I went down a path they hadn’t wanted for me, I think we’ll be able to find common ground. I’m happy knowing that they didn’t write me off completely.

The ping that signals the elevator’s arrival pulls me out of my thoughts. I have to suppress a groan once the doors open and I see my brother, who looks surprised to see me. Stepping onto the elevator, I nod at him before pressing the button for the ground floor, but he just smirks at me. I’ve been trying not to stew on the fact that he tried to hit on Charlie, and now that I’m face to face with him, I want nothing more than to wipe the smug smile off his lips.

We’re standing next to each other, and I can see our reflections in the elevator doors. I look completely out of place here in my jeans, t-shirt, and flip-flops, especially standing next to him in his charcoal pinstripe suit. I’ve never been happier about my decision than I am right now, because I’m getting a glimpse of the future I could’ve had. I’m pretty damn sure I’d have ended up miserable.

“You know she’s just going to end up leaving you, too,” he warns, his voice filling the elevator.

Trying to keep my cool, I breathe in and out a couple of times. “You don’t know a thing about her—or me, for that matter—so keep your assumptions to your damn self.”

Shaking his head, he lets out a low whistle. “I saw how she was looking at me, knowing a real, successful man when she saw one. Not you, an uneducated Army burnout trying to play dress-up to hang with the real men. I’m sure the uniform has its appeal for now, but one day she’ll wake up and want something, someone more. Might as well get used to it.”

I can hear Charlie in the back of my head telling me to let it go, and I’m about to until he opens his mouth again.

“I do have to hand it to you, though. You sure know how to pick them. First Megan and now this one. Megan’s beautiful, but damn, the rack on your new girl? Unbelievable.” He barely gets the last word out before I have him backed up against the side wall of the elevator. Pressing my forearm against his throat, I bring my face down so that we’re only inches apart.

“If I wasn’t already aware that my girl had your face pressed down into the granite, I’d be ripping your goddamn tongue out of your throat for talking about her like that. But the way I see it, you already got your answer from her as to how she feels about you, so I’m going to keep this short and simple.”

His face is turning red, and I relent—just a little bit. He swallows hard as he continues to watch me. “I have no fucking clue why you have a problem with me. Why you tried to ruin my life or why you had to steal Megan. At this point, I don’t really give a shit. You have your issues. You sort them out on your own. Leave me and leave my girl out of it. You may have won all those years ago, and hey, goddamn fucking congratulations. Better you than me. But this is one fight you don’t want to start, because I guarantee you’re not going to fucking win.”

Letting him go, I back away just as the elevator stops on the ground floor. As soon as the doors open, I step out and he follows behind me. Not looking back, I exit the building. I’m just about to get into my car when I hear his voice.

“You were going to take over the business,” he says.

I turn around, not understanding what he means. “What the hell are you talking about?”

He’s fondling a pair of keys, watching me. Leaning against the hood of my car, I want to leave, but a part of me wants to hear what he has to say. Sighing, he places his hands in his pockets before he continues.

“Right before I started the internship at Dad’s firm, I was going through some paperwork on his desk. Long story short, I found out our parents weren’t married when I was born. He was in his last year of college when it happened, and Mom was a summer fling. He didn’t even know about me until I was born and already fucking named. Haven’t you ever wondered how you ended up Knox the Third and not me? Not the firstborn?”

Nodding, I have to agree that it’s something I’ve always wondered about but never wanted to ask. “Yeah, but what does that have to do with anything? It’s just a name, Branson. You’re still a Wellington.”

Shaking his head, he disagrees. “Maybe in the Army, but here? It’s not just a name and you know it. It’s a legacy. And Dad wanted his son, his true namesake, to be running the business. It didn’t matter that I’d been interning for him every single summer of college after busting my ass the entire school year to maintain a 4.0 grade average. It’s not like I was expecting to be CEO as soon as I graduated, but when I overheard him telling his partner that he wanted you to take over the reins one day, even after you’d fucked up getting into college, I lost it. You took that from me, and I wanted to take something from you. And Megan was more than willing.”

“You did this because of a job? One I didn’t even know was being handed to me? You tried to ruin my fucking life because of my fucking name?” I seethe, incredulous that this is because of my name.

At this point, I’m not sure whether to be angry or feel pity for him. Shrugging, he pushes off the car. “I got the job and the girl, didn’t I?” he asks, apparently done with the explanation, the smug smile spreading over his face again.

Opening my car door, I’m about to slide in. I rest my arm on the top of my girl Evelyn. “Yeah, Branson, you did. And thank Christ for that, because my life’s infinitely better without either of them.”

Before he can answer, I get in my car, finished with this conversation. Pulling out of the spot, I don’t look back, and even though his reasons were shit, I’m actually relieved to finally know why he did what he did.

As I make the drive back to Clarksville, I can tell I’m on edge. I’d been apprehensive enough about seeing my dad, but running into Branson threw me off balance—more than I’d like to admit. And with the way he talked about Charlie’s breasts, I know I need to punch something.

His words replay in my head, and even though I know he’s wrong, I can’t help but wonder if he might actually be onto something. I remember her dad saying that she doesn’t date soldiers, and I’m the complete opposite of the professor. What if this is just a novelty thing for her? Something that’ll wear off when she decides she wants someone with a stable, corporate career that won’t have him away for months at a time, not ever knowing when the next deployment will be. The thought of not having her in my life hurts more than any pain Megan inflicted, and while I know Charlie has feelings for me, I can’t help but hear Branson in the back of my mind. Yeah, I really need to punch something.

Checking to make sure I have a gym bag in my back seat, I decide to head to the gym to blow off some steam. I’m not exactly worked up, but I’m on edge, and a few rounds sparring will help calm me down.

When I walk into the gym, I’m more than ready for a fight. Looking around the room, I see Charlie—with Chris. Of all the people she could spar with, she chose him, the fucking guy who’d tried to worm his way in before I could.

They’re dancing around each other in the ring, and I watch as she lands a quick jab in his side before he’s able to get in a low kick on her shin. I can tell she’s taking it easy on him as she allows him to get in a sequence of punches I know she could have blocked. Finally, she lets him take her down, and he hovers over her, leaning down to whisper in her ear. When I see her laughing at whatever he said, I feel like I’m going to lose my mind as a rush of anger flows through me.

Crossing to their ring, I’m quick to slip through the ropes, pulling him off her. He stumbles backwards a few steps before he catches his ground, glaring at me.

“What the hell, man?”

“You’re too goddamn close to my woman. You need to back the fuck off,” I tell him, flexing my biceps like an arrogant asshole.

“Dude, we’re sparring. That’s it. Chill out,” he says, pissing me off even more. I know I’m taking out the aggression from my brother out on him, but at the moment, I don’t give a shit.

“Just sparring my ass. You were fucking straddling her, whispering shit so that you could be on top of her a little while longer. I know you want her, but you need to find your own damn woman.” I’m fuming, and it takes everything in me not to let him be the recipient of the punch I want to let fly right now.

Charlie stands up, getting between the two of us. Turning to him, she gives him an apologetic smile. “Apparently, my boyfriend decided to be an unbelievable asshole today. I’m sorry, Chris. You’re doing much better with your takedowns. We’ll work on your punch-kick techniques next time, okay?”

He nods, and she turns to me. I notice he’s not going anywhere, and I’m more than irritated that she just apologized to this asshole for me. The smile has fallen from her face, and she looks pissed as hell. She doesn’t say a word as she brushes past me, leaving the ring. I know I have a scowl on my face as I watch her walk back towards the locker room and I direct it at Chris.

“Are you a goddamn fucking idiot? That girl wants you more than anyone else in this gym, and if you’d pull your head out of your ass, you’d know that. She wasn’t even remotely interested in me when we went on a date, and she isn’t interested in me now.”

His words register, and fuck me, I know he’s right. I just did exactly what Branson wanted. I let my insecurities and past betrayals get the best of me, causing me to lose my shit when I saw another man’s hands on her. Damn, I just royally fucked up, and I know I need to fix it.

Charlie

LEAVING KNOX in all his testosterone glory, I’m pissed as hell, not to mention embarrassed as fuck, as I exit the ring and quickly make my way to the locker room. I know he came straight here from his dad’s, and I can only guess that something happened to set him off. Watching him take it out on Chris as he tried to claim me in a gym full of men whose respect I’m still trying to earn was humiliating, and for the first time, I’m beginning to believe that he doesn’t trust me, even though I’ve never given him reason not to. The only thing I can guess is that going back to Belle Meade and seeing Megan and his brother brought back his issues with relationships. I’m not sure I can handle being compared to her or deal with the baggage of it. The baggage I thought he’d gotten over.

I’m trying to throw all my clothes in my bag so I can get the hell out of here when I hear the locker room door open. Looking up, I see Knox watching me, a sober look on his face. Throwing my bag over my shoulder, I go to exit the room, but he blocks me from leaving.

“Please get out of my way,” I ask as calmly as possible, not looking up at him, but he doesn’t move.

He brings his hand to my face, trying to lift it, but I hold my chin firm, not letting him move me. “Sweetheart,” he whispers, causing me to glare up at him.

“Oh, no. Don’t you dare ‘sweetheart’ me, Knox Wellington,” I say, poking him in the chest to emphasize every single word. “You don’t get to storm into the gym and embarrass me like you’re some kind of lunatic jealous boyfriend and then make it all better by getting all sexy and whispery with your sweetheart bullshit.”

He grins down at me, and I want to smack it off of his face and then kiss him to make it feel better. Must. Stay. Pissed, I tell myself, not letting him know how much his sexy smirks affect me.

Grabbing my finger, he pulls me into him before placing his arms around my waist. He places a kiss on my forehead before he presses his against mine.

“I’m sorry, babe. I ran into my brother and we had words. I was already feeling heated, and when I walked in and saw him straddling you, I fucking lost it.”

I can only imagine what happened when he saw Branson, but that’s no excuse. As I pull away, it takes everything in me to look at him, but I know I have to say this so that he understands that I’m serious.

“Look, Knox, I understand what happened back then was awful. And if seeing him brings all those old feelings back up again, then I don’t know what we’re doing here. If you have unresolved feelings about it or trust issues, then I don’t see how we can let our relationship progress any further. You have no reason not to trust me, but when you act like that, you lead me to believe that you don’t.”

Saying those words hurt more than I could have imagined, but I already wasted enough of my time being in relationships where I wasn’t enough. As much as I want to be with Knox, I don’t want to waste my time, even though it feels like my heart might break if this is the end. Things have been so perfect lately, and I really thought going to his parents had helped him start to heal from everything, but now I’m beginning to think I was wrong. That it was only temporary. I don’t know if I can handle him reverting to his broody, untrusting self. Wiping the stupid, traitorous tear that’s spilled over onto my cheek, I finally look away, unable to hold his gaze any longer.

“What the hell are you saying, Charlie?” he asks in a hushed, questioning tone.

I can feel my shoulders slump, wishing he’d told me I was wrong. “Until you finally get over what they did to you, I don’t see how we can move forward.” My voice catches on the last word, and I’m seconds away from bursting into sobs.

He lifts my chin and uses his free hand to pull me into him. “Sweetheart, I don’t want anyone but you. My issues with Branson have nothing to do with Megan. He said some shit about you that made my blood boil, and the thought of him touching you that night made me want to kill him. I was already seething from that, so when I walked in and saw Chris, I snapped. It’s not that I don’t trust you. I do, Charlie, with my whole heart, but it’s them. I don’t trust them.”

Relieved and elated at his words, I feel my heart calm down. “If you trust me, Knox, then it doesn’t matter about them. Chris is a friend. He knows I have no interest in him. Everyone in this gym knows you’re it for me, so no matter who I spar with, who ends up straddling me on the mat, they all know I’m going home to you. To your bed.”

“To our bed,” he corrects me, and I can’t help but grin, knowing I haven’t spent a single second in my own bed since that very first night.

“I chose you, Knox, the same night you claimed me. And while I like this possessive side of you, I prefer it in the bedroom, not in public.”

Letting go of my face, he pulls me in closer, resting his chin on my head. “I know, babe. And I’m sorry for acting like a jackass. I do want to move forward with you, and the thought of losing you, now or in the future, scares the hell out of me. When Branson planted that idea in my head, I kind of went a little crazy.”

He wants more with me. I try so hard not to let these words sink into my heart too deep. I’m still scared that he’s going to wake up one day and decide that he really isn’t ready for a relationship, but I can’t help it. The more time I spend with him, the more I get to see his true heart, the harder I fall.

“You think? Come on, Knox. You know Branson doesn’t have a clue what he’s talking about, so I have no idea why you’d even let his words bother you.”

I can feel his chest heave as he takes in a deep breath. “I know. I’m a fucking idiot. I just don’t ever want to lose you.”

Pulling back, I look up at him. “Knox, when are you going to realize that I’m not going anywhere?”

Leaning down, he presses his lips against mine. “I know that now. And it’s a damn good thing, because I wouldn’t let you, even if you tried.”

“I have no doubt about that. Race you home?” I ask seductively, wanting more than anything for him to be inside me right now.

Placing a hot kiss on my lips, he pulls me out of the locker room, through the gym, and into the parking lot. Looking at Evelyn, I’m wishing I were riding in her instead of my 2010 Hyundai Sonata.

Catching me looking at his other baby, he chuckles. “Hurry your ass home and maybe I’ll finally give you that ride you’ve been wanting,” he says, winking at me.

Oh god, the thought of him fucking me on the hood of his car is hot as hell. Throwing my car door open, I start the engine before he can even finish his sentence.

Rolling down the window, I call to him as I’m pulling out of the lot. “Don’t keep me waiting, Rugged.” I have to laugh when he shakes his head at me.

Driving down the road, I’m trying not to get overly excited at the thought of him, me, and Evelyn. I know he’s about to fulfill one of my biggest fantasies, and I can’t freaking wait.