Incinerate

Chapter 33

Charlie

OH MY god. This is it. My heart is racing as he begins his confession, and I know deep down in my heart what he’s about to say. Or well, I think I do. I’m about to find out if I’m right when a shrill voice interrupts us, like a cold tidal wave, dousing the flames.

He looks at me with pity, and I can’t fight the feelings of disappointment, knowing that Knox was on the verge of saying something profound when we were interrupted. I could smack the woman for ruining the moment, but when she says that my phone wouldn’t stop ringing, I know something must be wrong.

Listening to Olivia’s message that says she has to speak to me urgently makes my blood run cold. Don’t get me wrong, I like my dad’s girlfriend, but we don’t exactly chat on the phone on a regular basis. My fingers are shaky when I dial her number, and I tremble as I wait for her to answer.

Her panicked voice fills my ears. “Charlotte?”

“Olivia, what’s going on?” I ask hesitantly, almost too scared to find out.

I can hear the sharp inhale before she answers me. “Your dad collapsed about an hour ago in the operating room. He’s undergoing testing right now, but they’re still not sure what happened.”

Immediately, a sob escapes my throat. Not my dad. Not him. He’s the strongest man I know. “Olivia, what are you saying?”

“You need to get home as soon as possible, Charlie. He’s going to need you,” she says softly, and I can hear the tears in her own voice.

After promises that I’ll be back to Tennessee as soon as possible, I hang up the phone and find Knox, who looks concerned. When I tell him what’s going on, he takes charge, telling me to pack up our things while he says the goodbyes for us. This isn’t how I imagined our weekend on the beach, but I can’t think about that right now. All I see in my mind is Dad, lying unconscious on the cold floor.

When Knox meets me in our room minutes later, I’ve already packed everything up, ready to go, anxious to get on the road and to my dad’s side.

I’m sitting on the couch, nervously shaking my legs. He crosses the room and kneels in front of me, placing his hands on my legs, stilling them both. He looks up at me, a soft smile crossing his face. “Everything’s going to be fine. Your dad’s a tough son of a bitch and will probably be up threatening to kick my ass in a few days’ time.” He brings a hand up to brush the hair out of my face and then palms my cheek. “I’m here with you every step of the way, Charlie. I’m not leaving you. Lean on me, sweetheart. Let me take care of you.”

I nod, and he scoops me up into his arms like I’m a weightless rag doll before sitting on the couch with me in his lap, and I can’t help the sobs that begin to rack through me. I’m terrified, fearing the worst, and I meant what I said. I can’t lose my dad. Gripping the lapel of his uniform, I release every tear. He holds me tightly, rocking gently as he whispers softly to me, telling me everything will be all right. His words are comforting as his embrace soothes me, and I know that I couldn’t go through this without him.

Finally, I muster up the strength to pull away from him, knowing we need to go. He’s staring at me, and his hand comes up to wipe away the last of the tears that have fallen. His tenderness touches my heart. “Knox,” I whisper, but he shushes me.

“We’ve gotta get home, baby. Your dad’s waitin’,” he says softly, standing up and taking me with him, placing me on my feet. We set about getting all of our stuff, and moments later, we’re in the car.

Since we left the room, Knox hasn’t let go of my hand, and I’m grateful for the contact. He’s my lifeline, the only thing keeping my head above water right now, even when I feel like drowning. He’s the only thing that’s stopping me from going under, so I cling to him, desperate to feel his warmth on my skin.

Looking over at me, he places a soft kiss on my hand. “Why don’t you get some sleep? We’ve got a long drive ahead of us, and you might as well rest, babe,” he says, eyes watching me, concerned and sweet.

Nodding, I curl up as best as I can in Evelyn. I know he’s right. I might as well try to sleep when I can. Laying my head against the window, I feel the coolness against my forehead as I try to doze off. I’m plagued by thoughts of Dad, imagining the worst, until I finally drift off into a dreamless sleep.

“WAKE UP, sweetheart.” Knox’s voice breaks through the sleepiness as his voice registers in my brain. Lifting up, I stretch my neck, rubbing the kink from sleeping against the window.

“Where are we?” I ask sleepily, wishing I could curl back up and fall asleep.

“We’re at Blanchfield. I talked to Olivia about a half hour ago and she said to come straight here,” he says, and I’m immediately brought to the present, reeling from the fact that Dad’s at the hospital on post.

Jerking up, I yank on the door handle and fall out of the car, my dress catching on the door latch. Yanking it away, I make a beeline for the doors, but Knox quickly catches up, his body engulfing me as he wraps his arm around me, turning me to him. I try to fight him off, shoving him as he holds me against him, stroking my back, but he doesn’t let me go. Finally, I relent and collapse against his chest.

“Sweetheart, we’re in this together. Don’t fight me on this.”

I can’t get out any words, so I nod weakly and allow him to lead me into the hospital. I’m grateful that he contacted Olivia to find out where in the hospital to go. He guides me into the elevator, and I lean back against him as the doors close. Jesus, was it really only hours ago that he was doing the same thing, but taking me to bed instead of my dad’s bedside?

Curling against him, I let him hold me until the doors chime, signaling our arrival. He leads me off the elevator and down a short hallway before he deposits me in an empty seat. Leaning down, he kisses my forehead.

“I’m going to find out where he is, okay?” he says, and I’m reassured at his words, even though I still feel completely off-kilter.

He heads towards the nurses station, and I curl into a ball, missing the warmth and comfort of having him close. I’m going over the worst in my head when I finally feel his touch. It jolts me back to life as he crouches in front of me before wiping the tears from my cheeks.

“He’s still considered critical, but he’s stable now. They’re keeping a close eye on him until he wakes up.”

A small whimper escapes me, and I feel so weak. Clinging to Knox, I find the strength to catch my breath.

“Can I see him?” I ask once I finally get myself together. Knox nods and grabs my hand, pulling me out of my seat.

He leads me down the hallway and into a small room, where the sound of a remote beeping fills my ears. My hands cover my mouth the moment I see my dad, the strongest man I’ve ever knowing, lying motionless on the hospital bed, pale, lifeless, and I have to look away. I spot Olivia in the corner of the room, and she looks like she hasn’t slept in days. She’s immediately on her feet, and she throws her arms around me, catching me off guard.

“I’m so glad you’re here, Charlie,” she says, and I can feel her tears rolling down her cheeks as she embraces me.

“We got here as fast as we could,” I tell her.

Taking a page out of Knox’s book, I try to be strong for her as I rub her back, telling her everything will be okay and hoping that I’m right.

When she calms down, she takes a seat across the room, letting me take the one next to Dad’s bed. “What happened, Olivia?” I ask, needing the answers, needing to know what put him here.

She shakes her head, letting out a deep breath before she answers me. “He was complaining about chest pain when he got home from the gym, but he tried to say it was just acid reflux. You know your dad. He won’t go to the damn doctor unless he’s on his death bed.” She pauses, paling at her choice of words.

“It’s okay, Olivia. I know what you mean. It’s where I get my stubbornness. You’d think that as a doctor he’d be more prone to getting his checkups, but he claims his Army physicals are enough.”

Nodding, she looks relieved. “I happened to be working when I got the call that he was being taken to the emergency room. I won’t bore you with all the medical jargon, but after running a bunch of tests, they determined that he’d suffered a heart attack, which caused ventricular fibrillation, cutting off the blood flow to his organs. They believe he suffered sudden cardiac arrest, which is why he collapsed. If he hadn’t been in the hospital already when it happened, if the nurses hadn’t been able to immediately start CPR and get a defibrillator, they…they don’t think he would’ve made it,” she says, bursting into another round of sobs.

It’s too much for me to offer comfort anymore, now knowing just how close I was to losing him. It’s always been Dad and me, and the thought of him not being here any longer is more than I can bear. I think I’m in shock, because the tears won’t come. I watch as Knox hands Olivia tissues, and she pulls herself together.

“I don’t know understand. Dad’s still young. He’s fit. How did he have a heart attack?” I ask.

“Your father has what’s called Atherosclerosis. It’s a hardening of the arteries that can cause blockages and decrease blood flow, leading to heart attacks and heart disease. It can happen to anyone, no matter how healthy they seem, and symptoms don’t always appear. He was prepping for surgery when one of the nurses noticed he was sweating and that he kept holding his chest. When they asked him if he was okay, he said that he was, but it was only about sixty seconds later that he collapsed.” She pauses and looks at me. I’m guessing that she’s wondering how much of this I actually want to hear.

“He’s such a stubborn ass,” I tell her, and she smiles softly. “Then what happened?”

“They immediately started CPR when they couldn’t detect a pulse, and as soon as they got him on the table, they used the defibrillator to shock his heart. As soon as he had a pulse again, they began the tests. The echocardiogram determined that he had suffered a heart attack—they detected the arrhythmia with an EKG. They did an angiogram, which confirmed that he had a blockage. They immediately performed an angioplasty to restore blood flow to the heart. They had to put him under, so we’re still just waiting for him to wake up.”

The door opens, and a doctor walks in. I’m still overwhelmed from everything Olivia just said. I don’t know if I’m ready to hear more, but I rise, and he moves to shake my hand.

“Are you Dr. Davenport’s daughter?” he asks, and I nod. He begins to tell me everything Olivia just did. I’m thankful that I got it in her words because he’s using terms that are way over my head.

“Your dad’s extremely lucky that he was here when this happened. Sudden cardiac arrests has a very low survival rate, and the nurses did everything right to make sure that he’s still with us. I think he’s past the worst of it since we caught the cause right away, but we’re going to keep him for observation for the next couple of days to determine if he’s at risk for another arrhythmia.”

“When do you think he’ll wake up?” I ask, knowing I’m not going to be able to believe that he’s okay until I see him awake, talking, laughing.

“He could wake up any time now, but his body’s probably letting him rest after such a traumatic event. It could be morning before he wakes up. Speaking of,” he says, looking at the clock, “visiting hours are technically over, and Dr. Branch made me aware that you had to travel quite a ways to get here. Go home and get some rest. When you come back in the morning, I’m sure you’ll find your dad awake.”

I don’t want to leave Dad’s side, no matter how tired and drained I feel. “I’m fine. I don’t think I could sleep even if I went home,” I tell him, hoping he’ll let me stay.

Knox sees the stern look on the doctor’s face, and he rises, crossing to me, placing a hand on my shoulder. “Sweetheart, it’s been a long day. You’re not doing your dad any favors if you exhaust yourself. Let’s go home and get a few hours of sleep so you’re refreshed when you see him in the morning. You don’t want to worry him if he sees you drained.”

Looking back and forth between him and the doctor, I know he’s right, and I know I’m going to be kicked out anyway. Rising out of the chair, I lean down and give Dad a kiss on the cheek.

“I love you, Dad. Please wake up,” I whisper, taking one last look at him before allowing Knox to lead me out of the room.