Incinerate

Chapter 6

Knox

I AM an asshole. That’s not a secret. And I’ve never hidden it or shied away from being who I am. So why do I feel so guilty for what I said to Charlie? I admit, I flew off the handle and made assumptions I shouldn’t have. The wave of jealousy that washed over me when I saw that text had me seeing red, which is fucking idiotic because I have no claim to her. I want no claim to her, but that damn slap did nothing to calm my raging dick. And although I should be happy that it’s working properly for the first time in weeks, I’m irritated as hell.

I’ve been sitting around the house trying to read this damn book to no avail when I hear a car pull in the driveway. Setting it down, I slowly rise from the chair and make my way outside to try and wave the white flag, hoping to salvage some part of this working relationship.

She has her head in the trunk when I approach her. “Need some help?” I ask, causing her to stand up so quickly that her head smacks the trunk door.

“Mother fucker!” she yells, her Southern twang coming out as she rubs the spot on her head where she collided with the metal. “Dammit, Knox! Don’t sneak up on someone when they’re in an unfamiliar place and not paying attention.”

Wincing, I do something I never do—I apologize. “Sorry, Charlie. I thought you’d hear me approaching. Umm, can I help?”

She looks at me, scoffing, and instantly I can tell that time does not make Charlie Davenport cool off quickly. “And have you exacerbate your injuries on the first day I’m supposed to be helping you? Yeah, no, thank you. This is already going to be a long enough assignment, but I’ve never backed away from one and I’m not going to start now. As for the groceries, I can get them myself.”

I can feel my jaw tense as the frustration of being helpless washes over me. “I’m not a damn invalid, so don’t treat me like one. I still have one good arm. I think I can handle a fucking grocery bag,” I growl as I go to pick up a bag, but she intercepts it before I can grab it.

“No, Knox! You have multiple broken bones. You had surgery for Christ’s sake! Lay down your pride for one freaking minute and get over it. I think I can carry groceries without breaking a nail, thank you very much.”

Put in my place, I watch her for a few moments as she goes to gather up the grocery bags I distracted her from when I made her hit her head. When I think she’s finally trusting that I’m letting her do this on her own, I swoop in and grab the last two out of the trunk with my good arm. She notices at the last minute, and she moves in to grab them from me. The way she comes at me has her swinging the other bags towards my body, and my torso bears the brunt of the impact. It catches me off guard, and I begin to lose my footing.

Time feels like it’s moving in slow motion as the realization that I’m about to kiss the concrete washes over me. I can see Charlie’s eyes widen, and she drops the bags in her hands and crosses the few feet between us, her arms wrapping around me as she tries to stop me from falling. She’s too late though, and I end up bringing her down with me as my arms clumsily and involuntarily wrap around her body.

Fortunately, I land on my ass, but I’m shaken and suddenly I’m lying down, flat on my back on the concrete, with Charlie still in my arms. My eyes closed during the fall as I prepared for the worst, and I still have them shut, silently praying to God that I didn’t just fuck myself up even more.

The thought that Charlie was right about just letting her do it crosses my mind, and I realize that her warm body is on top of mine. Her soft, ample breasts are pressed firmly on my bare skin, and I can feel the hardening of her nipples against me. The brace is in the way of our stomachs, but her pelvis is lined up right with my groin and fuck me if I’m not getting a semi right now. I realize that I haven’t take my pain medication since yesterday morning, and I’m amazed how one day off the stuff is already helping my erection-making abilities. Sure, I’m not rock hard and I know it’s going to deflate in two-point-five seconds, but it’s still more than I’ve felt in weeks. I’d vow to never take them again, but I’m already feeling the effects of not taking them, and this fall isn’t going to help the pain go away.

My ribs are killing me, yet I can’t help but be turned on by this girl’s tight and toned body lying on top of me, no matter the circumstances. Her hands brace against my chest, and I groan at the contact. She mistakes it for discomfort, which, sure, is partly the reason, but I love the feel of her hands on my skin. It’s been forever since a woman’s touch excited me, and I don’t want her to move away. Unfortunately, she sits up, a worried look on her face as she looks me over.

“Oh my god, you fucking idiot! Are you okay? Did you hurt anything? Oh Jesus, fuck, shit, fuck, do we need to go to the emergency room?” she asks, one question after another as her hands roam over me, inspecting every inch of my body. Almost every inch, that is.

As her hand moves over my chest, I grasp her wrist. “I’m fine, Charlie. My pride hurts more than anything, and I might be a little sorer than usual tomorrow, but I’m okay, I promise.”

She sits up, but her legs are still straddling my waist as she looks down on me. I can’t help but notice how beautiful she looks, even with the pinched pissed-off expression she’s giving me right now. Her dark brown hair is still in the long braid she had earlier, but strands have come loose and are framing her face. I want nothing more than to pull out the tie holding it in place so I can watch it fall down her shoulders and onto her sweet tits. The same ones that are directly in front of my face, swelling with every breath that she takes, and my cock twitches at the memory of them pressed up against me. Jesus, I have no idea what the hell is wrong with me, but I want this woman more than I’ve wanted anyone in the longest fucking time. I know I can’t—I shouldn’t—go there. Hell, with the way my dick is having massive bipolar disorder right now, I know I definitely can’t go there right now, no matter how hot she is and how badly I want to make a move.

“You scared the shit out of me,” she whispers, the chocolate morsels in her eyes shimmering as she looks down on me, a curly tendril falling out of her braid and onto her face.

Without thinking, I reach my hand up and brush the hair behind her ear. Fuck. I don’t know if it’s this girl or the fact that I haven’t felt a woman’s warmth against my skin, but she’s driving me crazy. Our gazes are locked, and if it weren’t for this damned brace, I’d be leaning up to kiss her lips right now. I apparently lose my mind, using my right arm to pull her down to me since I can’t lean up towards her. My hand grips the back of her head and I lead her in the direction of my mouth. She’s centimeters away from my face when she suddenly jerks out of my embrace and pushes herself off of me.

Standing up, she gives me a dirty look. “What the hell is wrong with you?! Do you seriously think I’m some swooning girl that wants nothing more than to be in your bed?!” She starts scrambling on the driveway, gathering up the groceries and trying to get them back into their bags. She’s muttering to herself, and I swear I hear terms such as “pigheaded,” “assface,” and “insufferable jerk.”

What the hell? I know she was looking down at me, just waiting to be kissed. I could see it in her eyes. Where the fuck did I get my wires crossed? Shit, maybe my brain did get a little scrambled when I hit the concrete, because I’ve never—not even with Megan—acted so erratically with a chick, and it’s beginning to piss me off.

I have to roll onto my stomach and get up on my knees, where I brace myself against the car in order to stand. “Umm, a little help here?” I ask, causing Charlie to gape at me.

She places her hands on her hips and lets out an exasperated sigh. “Help? Hmm, five minutes ago you seemed to think you were just fine all on your own. I’d hate to hurt your pride, Rugged Man. I’m sure you can figure it out all on your own.” With that, she gathers up the bags and heads inside, leaving me to wonder, Who the hell is Rugged Man?

WHEN I finally get on my feet and make my way inside, Charlie’s busy in the kitchen putting away the groceries. I head straight to the freezer and grab an ice pack out of it because my ass is killing me. Sitting down at the kitchen island, I place the pack under my ass. She notices and smirks at me.

“That’s what you get for being a jackass, jackass.”

“Hey, I’m an injured guy. Have some sympathy,” I say, giving her my biggest puppy-dog eyes. I know the ladies can’t resist the sea green color of my eyes, but Charlie takes one look at me and rolls her own.

“It’s your own damn fault. You’re like every other stubborn-ass man out there. You think you’re invincible and too prideful to accept a helping hand. Newsflash: You can’t do it all on your own, and whether you like it or not, I’m here to help you. So get used to it.”

Now I’m starting to get pissed off. This girl doesn’t know a damn thing about me. “Sorry, sweetheart, but I know more than anyone that I’m not fucking invincible. I think I’m bearing the scars, dealing with the wounds of that. For your information, I got fucking blown up by a goddamn bomb. My best friend damn near lost his leg and three other guys also suffered injuries. Did you not hear Cohen this morning? I was in a coma. I could’ve died any second that I’d lain in that hospital room. So, no, Charlie, I don’t think I’m invincible, and until you’re in my shoes, you have no room to judge me.”

Charlie stops what she’s doing and walks towards me until she’s standing directly across from me on the other side of the island. She places both of her hands on the counter, and her eyes bore into mine. “You’re right, Knox. I’ve never been in your shoes, and I never will be. I don’t expect to know what you went through, and I can’t even begin to understand how you’re feeling. How it felt waking up in the hospital, seeing Jace in his cast, or even reliving the bomb blast over and over again since it happened. You’re right. I’ll never experience that, and I’m sorry as hell that you did. But I did grow up with a father who came home every night after treating injured soldiers. Without him having to say anything, I knew when he lost someone on the table. I’ve been an Army brat my entire life. I’ve said goodbye to friends at the airport and had them come home by way of Dover in a flag-draped casket. Loss doesn’t just happen for you guys. It happens for the rest of us, too. Maybe not on the same level, but it still hurts like hell. So don’t you dare tell me I don’t understand that you aren’t invincible, because if any civilian can understand that, it’s me.”

I’m a loss for words, because for one, I’m not used to a girl holding her own with me, and this woman has done nothing but go toe-to-toe with me. And two, I had no idea her dad was in the Army. I swear, I stick my foot in my mouth more times than I’d like to count with this girl and the reminder of her earlier suggestion comes to mind, but my foot is going nowhere near my ass. Shuddering, the memory of that sorority girl sticking her finger in that place makes me cringe. Sure, I know some guys are cool with that and they like it, but I swear my cock deflated the moment she touched me there. Never fucking again.

“Look, Knox, we’re clearly incompatible. We’ve done nothing but piss each other off today—although I’ve certainly done nothing wrong. My very presence seems to irritate you at times. I’m going to make you some dinner and then get out of your hair for the night. Let’s just agree to be civil towards each other and this whole thing should work out just fine.”

Intersecting my fingers, I lean my elbows on the granite countertop. I actually disagree with her. I think we’re more alike than either of us realizes, and it’s causing us to butt heads. Deciding to wave the white flag on this one, I look directly at her as I respond.

“Look, I’m sorry about earlier. I jumped to conclusions and I was out of bounds. I shouldn’t have said the things that I did.” Fuck me, this is the goddamn second time I’ve apologized to her in a single day and I don’t know why. I’m usually fine with pissing my women off. Not that she’s my woman. It’s just that for some reason I don’t like the thought of her staying pissed at me.

She watches me carefully as if she’s assessing the sincerity in my words, but then her brow furrows again and I want to groan. “No, Knox, you shouldn’t have. But even more than that, you shouldn’t have been snooping through my phone.”

Sighing, I know this conversation is going to go nowhere. I’m trying to apologize but she’s just going to continue to find fault in anything I say. The thing is, I know I fucked up, but this girl won’t give me any slack and it’s wearing on me. It’s easier just to give up and let her continue to think I’m an asshole. Hell, it’s probably better for both of us anyway.

“You’re right. I shouldn’t have. We may be too different and we butt heads way too frequently. Let’s just do what we can to get through these next few weeks until Cohen comes back.”

She looks at me but I can’t read her face. “Fine. Perfect. Pretend I’m not even here,” she says as she turns her back towards me and moves to the stove, presumably to start dinner.

I sit on the stool for a few more moments, but she ignores me the entire time. I’m entertaining the idea of just telling her to have the organization send another volunteer, but the thought of having someone else show up tomorrow isn’t appealing, and I know she’s too strong to give up, even on me. Eventually I get tired of the cold shoulder and I leave the room without her even noticing.

LYING IN bed, I can’t stop thinking about how messed up this entire day was. After all, I’m stuck in this damn house with nothing but my thoughts, especially since my TV, computer, and book aren’t doing anything to drown them out. It’s really starting to piss me off how much this is weighing on me, because a girl hasn’t gotten under my skin in so long. Not since Megan, and we all know how that situation turned out. I still can’t fucking believe she showed up at the hospital. Thank God she hasn’t shown up at the house. She’s still so damn beautiful and it hurt to look at her when she came to visit me. If Lexi hadn’t made her leave, I have no idea what I would’ve done.

After Charlie brought me dinner into the living room earlier, she packed her stuff up and started to leave. I asked her to join me, trying to keep the peace, but she just shook her head and said that she’d see me tomorrow. Without even looking at me, she slipped out the door and was gone. Obviously she had no intention of accepting the offer of my olive branch, and the more I think about it, the angrier I get. Sure, she thinks she has some sort of idea of what it’s like to be a soldier, but just because you’re an Army brat doesn’t mean you know everything. Has she put her ass on line, gotten injured in the line of duty? Fuck no, and I’m beginning to resent that fact that she threw her daddy’s service in my face to try and make me feel guilty. That girl has no idea what it feels like to be laid up, to have a stranger have to come and take care of you. She has no fucking clue.

Getting up from the bed, I head to the bathroom so I can take my pain pills, knowing they’re the only thing that will help me get to sleep tonight. I’m still feeling the effects from that fall, and I still feel like an idiot for trying to act all macho in front of Charlie. In all her anger, she left before she could be remove the brace, and I don’t have the energy to try and get it off one-handed. I’ll have to suffer through sleeping in it. Deciding to stick it out in the recliner because there’s no way I’ll be able to lie comfortably on my bed with this thing on, I grab my book and head towards the living room.

It’s not long before the meds kick in and I start to nod off. The last thought on my mind is of Charlie Davenport, and I vow not to let her get under my skin any further, no matter how much of an asshole I have to be.